Disregarding Reality
by stephpotter31
Summary: Hermione Granger has always been at the top of her class, but no one really knows why she's so smart. A changing Snape confronts her about this. Eventually SH.
1. The Question

Chapter One

"Does _anyone_ know what this potion is?" Snape's voice pierced the dungeon.

Hermione's hand shot up as usual. Snape, ignoring her, asked again.

"_Anybody_?"

With Hermione's hand still in the air, Snape turned around to face the class, the day's notes scribbled on the blackboard behind him.

"Granger, please stop being a know-it-all and put your hand down!" jeered Snape.

"Leave her alone," said Harry. "You could at least let her answer the question since no one else seems to know."

"Be quiet, Potter, or I will be forced to have to give you a detention - and believe me, spending three hours with you would be a detention for me as well."

Harry glared at Snape and turned away. "This is ridiculous," whispered Harry to Ron.

"Malfoy! Tell me what this potion is," demanded Snape.

"I don't know," said Malfoy lazily.

"This is pathetic; obviously no one has read the text book or has taken any initiative to go ahead in the chapter. Fine, Granger, go ahead and enlighten us," said Snape annoyingly.

"It is polyjuice potion sir. It allows someone to transform into someone else."

"A textbook answer nonetheless," Snape jeered.

And, with that, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class.

"Two rolls of parchment on the making of polyjuice potion on my desk tomorrow," called Snape as the students began packing their bags. "Granger, stay back for a minute."

"See you in the common room," said Hermione to Harry and Ron.

The classroom was empty when Snape finally said, "Have a seat here Granger," pointing to a chair in front of his desk. Snape stared at her for what seemed like forever until finally Hermione broke the silence.

"If this about me being a know-it-all, please, save your energy, I'll never raise my hand again," Hermione said as she felt anger boiling in her blood.

"No, Granger, this is not about that, but I will hold you to that, and please, there is no reason to get emotional with me. Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

Hermione looked at him with a confused look on her face.

"I know this is the last thing you think that I'd ask you, but, your marks have gone down significantly and you are not doing your assignments to the best of your ability. All I can say is that your class participation is still the same. Is something troubling you?"

Hermione just stared at him. This was not the Serveus Snape that she knew, and how did he figure out something was wrong?

"I'd rather not talk about it," said Hermione, quickly getting up and heading toward the door.

"Granger, wait."

Hermione turned around just as she got to the door.

"I understand that I may not be the person you wish to discuss this with, but remember this, there are different qualities of me that most people don't see. If you ever want to talk, I'm always here."

"Um, thank you professor. Give me some time and I might," Hermione said quietly.

She exited the classroom and headed back to the common room.


	2. Sleep through it

When she returned to the common room, she took her usual seat next to Harry and Ron

Chapter Two

When she returned to the common room, Hermione took her usual seat next to Harry and Ron, pretending as if nothing was wrong. They had started their essays that Professor Snape had assigned them. Since she had no motivation to do hers, she grabbed a book from her backpack and began to read.

"What did Snape want?" asked Ron.

"Um…" she stumbled for a second, "It was just about me being a know-it-all. I had to promise him I wouldn't raise my hand anymore."

"But that's all you've been doing this year," said Harry. He paused. "Are you sure there's nothing that you want to talk about?"

"I've told you already, I'd prefer not to. There's nothing wrong. I've just realized that school isn't as important as I have believed in to be the past." explained Hermione.

"Alright," replied Harry.

And at that, Hermione got up, said goodnight to her friends, and headed up to the girls' dormitory for bed. She lay on her bed for what seemed like hours, thinking about the night's events. Was Snape actually concerned? It definitely wasn't like him to act that way. And what had he meant when he said that there were different qualities to him that most people don't see? Her head was full of questions that couldn't be answered that night, and when she realized this, she put it out of her mind and fell into a deep sleep.

"Hermione…"

"Hermione..."

She heard someone calling her name, but it sounded too distant to be near her.

"Hermione, wake up, you've already missed Ancient Runes."

She rolled over to see Ginny Weasley standing next to her bed.

"Ginny, what are you doing?" she said, still half asleep.

"Wake up, you've missed your Ancient Runes class, and if you don't hurry, you'll be later for Potions."

"I don't care, let me sleep."

"Are you ok?"

"I said leave me alone."

"Fine."

Ginny left, closing the door behind her. Hermione could hear Ginny's footsteps gradually getting softer as she descended the stairs. She rolled back over and returned to her sleep. In what seemed like no time, she was being shaken awake by someone who she expected to be Ginny again. She opened her eyes to see Madam Pomfrey standing over her.

"Come on dear, it's the Hospital Wing for you."

"No, I'm fine," protested Hermione, but let Madam Pomfrey guide her all the way to the Hospital Wing without hesitation. This was exactly what she needed; some time away from classes.

When she entered the Hospital Wing, still being guided by Madam Pomfrey, she saw that it was completely empty, which was unusual. She lay down on a bed and quickly fell asleep.

When she finally woke up, Madam Pomfrey was sitting in a chair next to her. It was pitch black outside the windows in the room. She must have slept through the whole day, she realized.

"I need you to tell me what's going on," said Madam Pomfrey.

"There's nothing wrong," said Hermione. "I'm fine."

"Dear, people don't have eating disorders because they're feeling fine. Please tell me what's going on."

"There's nothing wrong, just leave me alone!" screamed Hermione.

Madam Pomfrey stared at her for a moment, then got up and returned to her office. Hermione just lay on the bed looking at the ceiling for what seemed like forever, thousands of thoughts flowing through her mind.

Suddenly, the peace and quiet was interrupted. The doors of the Hospital Wing burst open and none other than Severus Snape stood in the doorway.


	3. Five minutes left

Hermione was at taken aback by this interruption to her thoughts, and didn't really register that Snape had just come into the hospital wing until he was half way across the room heading towards her bed

Hermione was taken aback by this interruption to her thoughts, and it didn't really register that Snape had just come into the Hospital Wing until he was halfway across the room heading towards her bed. He came to a halt at the foot of her bed and looked at her with concern.

"You're coming with me for a while," he said.

"Why?" replied Hermione.

"Because, for one thing, you missed today's class and need to get the notes, and I think the time I have given you to consider talking to me about what's going on has expired due to certain circumstances."

"Fine," replied Hermione bitterly

He went over to the side of her bed, took her hand, and helped her up. They walked over to Madam Pomfrey's office. Snape stuck his head in the doorway and called out, "I'm taking Miss Granger down to my office for a while; I'll bring her back before midnight."

Hermione heard a voice come from inside the office and assumed that it was from Madam Pomfrey. Snape then headed towards the door, with one hand on her waist and the other on her shoulder, guiding her through the hallways.

When they entered the office, his hand was still on her waist, gently holding her as he directed her into the chair across from his own. He went around the desk and sat, surveying her through dark eyes. After a moment, he turned his attention to a large pile of parchment on the desk. He picked it up and straightened it, momentarily turning his gaze to the papers as he put them down.

"Firstly, since you missed my lesson today, you will have to serve a detention. I am aware that you weren't admitted into the Hospital Wing until twenty minutes into my class, so you will serve that when you get out of the infirmary. Secondly, I'll give you my copy of today's notes so you can copy them out during your stay in the Hospital Wing. I don't want to see you falling behind, so I'll come up every day with notes. Is that alright?"

Hermione looked at him, surprised. "Fine, but don't expect me to study them."

"I'm not expecting anything at this point," came the quiet reply.

"Good."

"Now, on a much heavier note, Madam Pomfrey tells me that you refused to tell her what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong."

"Well you're not leaving here until you tell me. I have essays to correct, so that will keep me busy until you decide to talk."

"And just to reassure you, I will keep everything confidential," he added with a hint of sarcasm.

"No you won't! You'll go running to Madam Pomfrey and tell her!"

"No, I will not."

"You're a Liar."

Snape stared at her with a look he usually gave to Harry.

"I will not be called a liar. I may be many things, but a liar is something I am not. Miss Granger, you have my word. When you're ready to speak, go ahead. But remember, we're not leaving her until you do."

And at that, he took up one of the parchments on his desk and began to correct it. Hermione sat in silence. She was not going to tell him what was going on, even if it meant being in this utterly disgusting classroom all night.

So they sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Snape went from one piece of parchment to another, sometimes crossing out the whole essay. At 11pm, he finally looked up. He stared inventively at Hermione as if trying to read her mind. Hermione would not make eye contact, knowing that was what he was seeking. Ten minutes later, he finally went back to correcting essays. Hermione eventually got annoyed.

"Didn't you promise Madam Pomfrey that you would have me back by midnight?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, it's 11:45."

"Yes, but it is not midnight. We still have fifteen more minutes."

"And in fifteen minutes you're expecting me to spill my guts out and tell you everything?"

"No, I am not. But I am hoping that you will give me a hint of what is going on, and then we can finish this tomorrow night."

"Well, you're out of luck, because I'm still not talking about it."

"Fine, but we will do this every night until you do Miss Granger."

They fell silent for ten minutes, until finally, Hermione decided there was no way out of it.

"It's been going on forever; it's just gotten worse lately."

Snape looked up from the essay he was correcting.

"What is it?" he asked

"I'm not telling you tonight. You said that I only had to give you a hint, and that's what I did," she said with a grin.

"Very well. I will bring you back to the Hospital Wing."

He got up from his desk and walked over to where Hermione was sitting. She attempted to get up, but felt dizzy, and sat back down. Snape put out his hands and helped her out of the chair, putting one hand on her shoulder and the other on her waist, the same way he had helped her the first time. They then walked back to the Hospital Wing together. When they got there, Snape helped her into bed, covered her up, and walked away, leaving Hermione in confusion.


	4. Friends are everything

"Why did she have to be so complicated

"Why did she have to be so complicated?" Snape asked himself. He had been thinking about what had happened that evening since he had returned from bringing Hermione back to the hospital wing. When he had returned to his office, he had begun to correct the essays that he was supposedly correcting when Hermione had been sitting in the chair across from his desk. He had really only had pieces of scrap paper that he had scribbled down potion instructions on, but they looked very similar to an essay. He never liked the idea of someone staring at him when he was correcting, and since he had to make it look like he was doing something productive, that seemed the best route. "Well, at least she said something," he said aloud, since he was the only one in the dark office. He began to think of all the possible reasons she would say that "It's been going on forever; it's just gotten worse lately" but came to no reasonable solutions. At least he knew that she was beginning to trust him. No one had ever truly trusted Severus Snape. Ever since the fiasco with the prophecy and him joining Dumbledore's side, everybody was always questioning him. All that mattered to him was that Dumbledore trusted him. He was on the good side, even if people didn't believe it. And because of this, he treated people arrogantly.

He was not afraid of the Dark Lord. He had been serving as a spy for Dumbledore all these years now and the Dark Lord had not figured out that he was two-timing him yet.

But back to Hermione, he thought. What would he have to do tomorrow night to get her to open up even more? He would have to tell her something about his past, something that would make her sympathize him. Maybe it would trigger a memory of her own. He was too tired to think of anything tonight, as it was now 3:30 in the morning and he was getting drowsy. He pushed the pieces of parchment that was in front of him into a pile, got up, blew out the candles, and retired to his private quarters

Hermione tossed and turned for a long time thinking about the night's events. When she had returned to the Hospital Wing accompanied by Professor Snape, she was so tired that she thought she was going to fall into a deep sleep, but that did not happen. All she could think about was how much of an idiot she was for even speaking about what was wrong with her to Professor Snape. Harry and Ron didn't even know. What was she going to do if Snape told them? They would hate her for choosing to tell Snape over them. "Get a hold of yourself Hermione," she told herself. She had only said one sentence to him, and it wasn't as if he could have it figured out already. "But now he _knows_ something's wrong, he's going to expect me to tell him more tomorrow night," she said to herself. What was she going to tell him? She would have to figure this out in the morning. The pillow was feeling very inviting right now.

"Shh, Ron, I think she's still asleep," said a whispering voice.

"Man, I can't wait much longer for breakfast, I'm famished. Maybe we should just come back after we eat."

"Fine, but if we're late for potions, I'm going to make slugs come out of your mouth."

"Don't remind me of that, mate."

Both boys chuckled to themselves at this remark. Hermione heard the door of the Hospital Wing close behind Harry and Ron as they left. She had been awake for a while now but was just not in the mood to talk to her two best friends. She knew that they would be back soon and she would have to talk to them then, but for now she just wanted to be alone. Hermione looked around the Hospital Wing and saw that it was still empty. She wondered where Madam Pomfrey was, but as soon as this thought went through her head she regretted it. Madam Pomfrey walked out of her office holding a small container of pills in her hand.

"Here you go dear, these should help. I take it that you're used to muggle pills, so that's what I got for you."

"Thank you. I've never really had much of a liking for wizard pills."

"Yes… well, these should help. You'll have to stay here until I see an improvement in your eating habits and when your fever and headache go away."

"How long do you expect that to be?"

"Well, your headache and fever are probably due to stress, so these pills will help with that, but as for your eating habits, that's up to you and your body."

"Oh."

"In any case, if you are here more than three days the headmaster will have to call in a tutor so you don't fall behind in your school work."

"I wouldn't want that," said Hermione sarcastically to herself.

"Well then, I'll just leave you to do whatever," said Madam Pomfrey as she walked back to her office.

Hermione lay back on her pillow with a yawn. "More than three days? That will get boring," she thought to herself. But before she had even a minute to think of what she will do with all her spare time, Harry and Ron entered the Hospital Wing, with Ron still eating a croissant.

"Hey Hermione," said Harry, seeing that she was awake.

"Hae Her-mo-ni," said Ron with his mouth full of food.

"Hi, you two."

"We came up earlier, but you were still asleep," said Harry.

"And then Harry made me rush through breakfast to run up here, I didn't even get a chance to finish my croissant," said Ron, gesturing to the pastry in his hand.

"Well, I didn't want to miss you if you woke up and then fell back asleep, and I'd really prefer not to be late for potions, Snape will kill us."

"Well you better get going, you've only got five minutes," said Hermione with a giggle.

Harry cursed under his breath and Ron dropped his croissant in surprise.

"We'll see you later than," said Harry as both boys ran out of the Hospital Wing.

"Oh my, that's why they're my friends, I guess," said Hermione to herself. She decided to get some rest as she didn't have a very good sleep the night before and she didn't know what else to do.


	5. The tutor

Harry and Ron sprinted the whole way to the dungeons to avoid being extremely late for potions, but were unsuccessful

Harry and Ron sprinted the whole way to the dungeons to avoid being extremely late for potions, but were unsuccessful. They entered the classroom and saw that the class had already begun preparing the day's potion. Snape turned around from the chalk board to give them a penetrating stare.  
"Potter and Weasley, what a surprise. You find yourselves completely incompetent of showing up on time so you decide to make an entrance unexpectedly as to draw people's attention to you."

"No sir, we were visiting Hermione in the Hospital Wing," blurted Ron.

Harry gave him a shove. He was going to just ignore Snape's remark, but now they were never going to hear the end of it.

"Oh, Miss Granger, how is she? I suppose she was ready to teach you what we are going to learn today since she has nothing better to do stuck up in the Hospital Wing, and since she is a insufferable know-it-all she has already done this," said Snape as his lip began to curl.

At this Ron made to say something, but Harry bet him to it.

"Yes sir, of course. She thinks that since me and Ron have been doing so poorly in your class that she would take it on herself, since you obviously can't handle us."

"That's what you think, is it?" Snape said loudly, quickly walking over to where Harry and Ron were standing. "Well, you are doing poorly not because of me. Get out of my sight right now. Leave. I do not care where you two go, just get out of here." Snape pushed both boys out of the classroom with force and slammed the door behind them.

"Well, that went well, didn't it?" said Ron.

Hermione awoke with a start. What had caused her to panic and wake up? Then she remembered. She had had a dream where Professor Snape penetrated her mind and found out what was going on with her and then went off and told Madam Pomfrey, then the whole school found out somehow and everyone was making fun of her, even Harry and Ron. But she reminded herself that dreams are only that, dreams.

She glanced over at the window across from her bed and saw that it was a lovely day outside, a blue sky with no clouds in sight. At that moment, she realized that today was her third day in the Hospital Wing. How she wished she could be outside with Harry and Ron, sitting under their favorite tree without a worry in the world. Maybe she would ask Harry to bring her his Invisibility Cloak so she could sneak out of the Hospital Wing and go outside. But Madam Pomfrey would definitely notice if her only patient went missing from her bed. Oh well, it was worth the thought, Hermione told herself.

She knew that she wouldn't be getting out of the Hospital Wing anytime soon. Her headache and fever was still present and her appetite was certainly not improving. Professor Snape had come last night and brought her to his office again, trying to make her talk, but she still refused to. It didn't look like it was annoying him though, which was odd.

She decided to write about the past few days in her journal, which Harry had brought up to her along with a few more of her favorite possessions. Just as she finished her entry in her journal, Professor Dumbledore entered the Hospital Wing, wearing magnificent navy blue robes with stars glistening all over. He strode over to where Hermione was and sat down on the end of the bed. He surveyed her through his half moon spectacles for a few moments before saying, "How are you, Hermione?"

For a second she forgot about the question. He usually referred to her as "Miss Granger", but she guessed this was due to the certain circumstances.

"I…um…good…," replied Hermione.

"My dear, if you were indeed 'good', you would not be here right now."

"Ok, fine, I'm not good, I'm rather miserable if you must know."

"That's better. Now, I understand that you have been in here for two days and this is your third. I am assuming that Madam Pomfrey told you what would happen if you were in here for longer than three days?"

"Yes, I'm getting a tutor," said Hermione grudgingly.

"That is correct. Now, as of first thought, I was going to be your tutor, but that has since changed. Professor Snape has requested to take this position; owing to the fact he says he has too much time on his hands."

Hermione took this news rather peculiar. Professor Snape always seemed to act as though the less amount of time he was around students the better, until recently.

"Oh, ok."

"Well, I'm glad you approve at any rate. I do not second guess that if it had been one of your friends, Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley, they would not have agreed to it," said Dumbledore with a chuckle. "Professor Snape will be tutoring you for one hour in the night on weekdays, and a total of three hours on the weekends whenever he sees fit. I have been hearing things from your teachers about your view of school work lately and I believe that even when you get out of the Hospital Wing, that the tutoring sessions should continue on the weekdays, just to keep you on task. I will not pester you for the reason of this change, but I do feel that I should as anyway why it has changed for the worse."

"Oh well, really it's not that big… actually, it's nothing."

"If that is your answer, I will not ask for anything more. I must be off now, though; the Minister is awaiting my owl concerning the law against werewolves, best not to keep him waiting." And at that, the Headmaster rose from his seat on the bed and walked towards the doors. When he reached them he turned around and said, "Professor Snape will be up at seven o'clock to bring you to his office. He may keep you for longer that one hour due to the fact that you are three days behind. Good luck!" He threw open the doors and disappeared behind them, leaving Hermione alone in her thoughts again.

Why was Snape acting so strangely these past couple of days? It had started with that day after Potions, and then to him bringing her down to his office in the middle of the night, and now to him being her private tutor. But it's nothing, she told herself.


	6. Why do you care?

Around six thirty, Harry and Ron came up to the Hospital Wing to visit Hermione, who had just finished eating and was now putting her textbooks in her bag as to be ready for Professor Snape when he came to retrieve her

Around six thirty, Harry and Ron came up to the Hospital Wing to visit Hermione, who had just finished eating and was now putting her textbooks in her bag. She wanted to be ready for Professor Snape when he came to retrieve her.

"So who's your tutor? I'll bet it is Dumbledore," said Ron as he and Harry sat down at the end of Hermione's bed.

"Well, apparently it was at first, but now it's Snape."

"Snape?" shouted Harry.

"Bloody hell!" swore Ron.

"Yeah, I know. I was just as shocked as you guys. Dumbledore said something about how Snape told him he had too much time on his hands."

"But still, Hermione," said Harry, "that greasy haired git must be off his rocker today."

"Just like everyday," mumbled Ron.

"It is strange. Did anything happen in Potions today?"

"We wouldn't know," said Ron.

"He kicked us out as soon as we got there, and he had a few cracks about you before doing so too," said Harry.

"What did he say?"

"The normal stuff really," said Ron, "He said we were only late because we're attention seeking--"

"Not about you Ronald! About me!" interrupted Hermione.

"Oh, well, of course you wouldn't care…" Ron mumbled to himself.

"Well he called you an insufferable know-it-all and said that you would have gladly taught us the lesson since you have nothing better to do. Then I told him he couldn't handle us, and he kicked us out," said Harry.

"Well, that's not surprising. He's always been full of himself," said Hermione. "Oh my, it's almost seven o'clock. You two should leave, Snape will be here any second and I'd prefer if you guys didn't make him angry again, that might mean hell for me."

"Okay, we'll come up tomorrow after breakfast," said Harry as he and Ron rose to their feet and walked out of the Hospital Wing. Hermione heard Ron say, "Harry, you've got to let me finish my breakfast tomorrow before we go anywhere," just as the doors closed behind them. This put a grin on Hermione's face for the first time that day. But the moment was forgotten as the Hospital doors opened with a _thud_ and she was looking at the back of Severus Snape.

"And if you ever say that again I'll turn you both into slugs!" screamed Snape at what appeared to be Harry and Ron. He turned around and looked at Hermione for a minute before saying "Come on, we haven't got all night. Do you have all your books ready?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Good. Now, are you able to walk, or do you need assistance?"

"I think I'm fine on my own."

"Fine. I'll take your bag." Snape went over to the side of the bed and hoisted the bag over his shoulders. "Let's go," he said simply.

Hermione got up, walked a few steps, and fell on the bed next to the one she normally occupied.

"It seems you do need assistance," said Snape as he helped her up and his hands took their place on her shoulder and waist.

When they finally reached their destination, Snape helped Hermione into a chair in front of his desk and disappeared out of sight. When he returned, he said, "We will be going into my private quarters. It's much more comfortable."

"Oh, okay. Where is it?" said Hermione. She was really not in the mood to walk very far.

"Right through here," said Snape as he walked over to the bookcase in the corner. He drew his wand and tapped a few books before stepping back. To Hermione's amazement, the bookcase swung forward to reveal a dark and gloomy sitting room. Snape helped Hermione up, and they walked through the small passageway into the sitting room. Hermione looked around and saw that there were three doorways in the room. Their was a fireplace in front of her with two armchairs and a coffee table close to it. There were three bookcases with a couch next to it on one wall, and a counter and table opposite it. Everything in the room was black or dark green, which gave it a very cold and gloomy feeling.

Hermione realized she was shivering. Snape must have noticed this too, as he said, "I'll light the fire and make some tea. I am assuming you can walk that little ways to the chair, it should be about the same distance as your bed to the bed you fell on."

"I think so," said Hermione as she scolded Snape for the remark about how she fell.

Snape slowly loosened his grip on her. She swayed, but did not fall down. Snape walked off over to the counter with his back to her. Hermione made her way slowly but surely to the armchairs by the fire. Snape came over next to her, and laid two cups of tea on the coffee table. With a flick of his wand, a blazing fire sprung up in the fireplace. He sat down in the armchair next to Hermione and picked up his cup.

"Drink," he said, pointing to the other cup. "It will make you warm."

"Thanks," said Hermione shyly.

When they were both finished their tea, Snape spoke.

"Now, I will be tutoring you, as I'm sure you know, one hour every weekday night, and then a total of three hours on the weekends. When you get out of the Hospital Wing, which I don't see happening in the near future, we will cut these sessions back to just the weeknights. Any questions?"

"Yes. Are you going to be tutoring me _every_ subject?"

"Yes and no. I will be tutoring you the practical subjects in these hour sessions, and I will give you notes and worksheets on the others. Potions, Defense against the Dark Arts, Herbology, and Charms are the practical ones, everything else you will get written assignments."

"Okay."

"You will have until the next session to complete the written assignments. I will correct them and record your mark."

"Now," Snape went on, making complete eye contact with Hermione, "since it is already seven thirty, I see no point in starting a practical lesson. I will give you an assignment instead. You are to read pages fifty one to sixty one in your Muggle Studies text book, then answer the questions on page sixty two. Do you understand the instructions?"

"Obviously."

"I will not tolerate attitude either."

"Yes, Professor," said Hermione sarcastically.

"Now, I have other things I wish to discuss with you."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that you have been in my presence three nights in a row now, and I can't help but notice how your condition seems to be getting poorer. You have lost a considerable amount of weight, and I don't think that you are meaning to."

"What makes you think that? All girls want to lose weight!" Hermione said.

"Miss Granger, you know yourself that you do not _need_ to lose weight!"

"Well, so what? There's nothing wrong with it!"

"It is when you are doing it in a very unhealthy manner! Now, since our very first discussion the night you were admitted to the Hospital Wing, all you have told me is that 'it's' been going on for a while, but now 'it's' gotten worse. So, I'll ask you one more time to tell me what's going on."

As Snape asked this, Hermione broke down into tears. She looked up at him and said, "Why do you care?"

"I…"


	7. Accepting Help

"I…"

"I…"

Snape retreated and got ahold of himself. There was no way he was going to open up his heart to this know-it-all student who he pretended to hate. But, then again, he didn't have to be a complete git.

"I think that you are a very smart young lady, and you can go somewhere in life with your talents. I would hate to see something that could be fixed ruin your life."

Still crying, Hermione said, "It can't be fixed. Nothing in my life can be fixed." And at this, she curled up into her chair and put her head on her knees.

Snape shifted in his seat. How many times had he felt that his life had come to an end?

"Hermione, look at me," Snape pleaded.

Before Hermione looked up, she realized that he had just used her first name for the first time. And, for some weird reason, it sounded good coming off his tongue. When she looked up, she saw a man that she had never seen before, a complete stranger. They both sat staring at each other, for what seemed liked forever, until Snape broke the silence.

"Everyone gets to a point in their life, at least once; where they think that nothing they do matters. But they eventually learn to move on with their life. And that's what you need to do."

"It's not that easy!"

"Maybe not, but it can be if you want it to."

"Rubbish!"

"Please calm down, I'm trying to help."

"Sorry Professor," Hermione said miserably.

"I know where you are, Hermione. I've been there before myself. And the only way out is with someone's help. Are you willing to accept my help?"

Hermione pondered the question. This man sitting in front of her was not her arrogant potions professor. This was a completely different man. And she was willing to get to know him, and hopefully herself.

"Yes."

"Very good," Snape said gratefully, "Now, we have to get you back to the Hospital Wing. Let's go." He stood and helped Hermione up and together they walked back to the Hospital Wing.

Hermione awoke with a start the next morning. She had fallen asleep seconds after Professor Snape had helped her into bed, and had not woken the entire night. She looked around to see what the reason was for her waking up so abruptly, to see Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall standing around a bed across from hers. She couldn't see who it was, because the two women were obstructing her view. When Madam Pomfrey realized she was awake, she ushered over to her and laid her back down on her bed.

"You go back to sleep dear, I'll get your pills in a little while."

"Who's that?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Luna Lovegood. She fell off a Thestral in the forest. Poor girl knocked herself out cold," Madam Pomfrey said as she closed the drapes around Hermione's bed and disappeared.

"Well, that was good," thought Hermione, "At least I'll have someone to talk to, even if she is a little bit of a nut."


	8. Dinner plans?

"Nice necklace," said Ron

"Nice necklace," said Ron.

"Thanks, it helps to keep the nargals away," replied Luna.

"What are…Oh, Hermione, you're awake! Harry! She's awake!"

"I can hear, Ron," screamed Harry from the other side of the Hospital Wing.

"Oh my, you two," said Hermione with a grin. She had fallen asleep again not long after Madam Pomfrey had closed the drapes around her bed. "What time is it?"

"Almost six o'clock," replied Harry, "Have you slept all day?"

"I think so…"

"Man Hermione, you'll never have to sleep again after this!" said Ron.

"Shut up Ron, she's sick!" said Harry angrily.

"No, no, he's right. I don't know what's gotten into me. I have never slept this much in my life."

"Madam Pomfrey said it was a side effect to the medication," blurted Ron.

"You talked to her?!"

"Well, um, we…" stumbled Ron.

"When we came in she gave us an update on how you were doing," said Harry. "She said that you're not making very much of an improvement…"

"Well, what can you expect being cooped up her all day and being dragged down with Snape every night!"

"Sorry Hermione, I just…"

"No, don't apologize! Just get out!"

Harry and Ron obeyed Hermione's screams and ran out of the Hospital Wing, the door slamming behind them. Hermione didn't expect them to understand. They had no idea what she was going through, no idea how hard it was to get better.

At that moment, Hermione realized she wasn't alone in the Hospital Wing, and didn't like that her privacy had been invaded.

"They're just trying to help," said Luna, looking over at Hermione.

"Yeah, well maybe I don't want their help."

"But maybe you want it so much that you feel you need to push them away."

"Oh God, you're just confusing me," replied Hermione as she rolled over on her side.

Madam Pomfrey came out of her office carrying two trays, one quite smaller then the other, towards Hermione and Luna. She handed the biggest one to Luna, and opened the lid to reveal a delicious meal of chicken legs and mashed potatoes. Then walked over to Hermione, and placed the tray on her lap.

"This is just a muffin to tide you over until Professor Snape gets here. He insisted on feeding you tonight when he tutors you, for what reason I have no clue. Oh, don't forget to take your pills, they're right there on you night table." She then returned to her office without another word.

"Snape wanted to eat with _me_?" thought Hermione, "Why on earth would he want to do that?!"

She sat there staring at her muffin, knowing that she would have to eat it, but repulsed by the idea of food. She took her pills and ate half the muffin, waiting for Snape to present himself in the Hospital Wing. At exactly seven o'clock, the doors opened and Snape walked in.

"Why didn't you eat your entire muffin?" were the first words out of the professors mouth.

"I wasn't hungry," replied Hermione.

"Well, that won't be good enough tonight. Let's go." He grabbed her books and headed towards the Hospital doors, Hermione somehow managing to walk on her own.


	9. A shoulder to cry on

When they finally arrived in Snape's quarters, Hermione was exhausted

When they finally arrived in Snape's quarters, Hermione was exhausted. She practically fell onto the chair next to the table.

"I'm surprised you made it the whole way down here walking by yourself," said Snape as he sat down opposite her.

"I think I needed to prove to myself that I could in fact do something for myself," replied Hermione.

"Well, that's good. Now, you know the drill, look at your plate and tell it what you want."

"Um, okay, let's have… Oh, I'm really not hungry, professor!" whined Hermione.

"Now you listen here, I brought you down here so I could make sure myself that you're eating. You will eat everything on that plate even if it kills you. Now, order something," replied Snape harshly.

"Fine," she looked directly at her plate and said, "Pork chops and mashed potatoes."

Snape nodded in agreement and looked at his own plate and said, "Steak and French fries."

Their food appeared and Snape immediately dug in. Hermione, on the other hand, sat and stared at her food until Snape made eye contact with her. She then realized that she would have no other choice but to eat. She picked at her mashed potatoes and ate half of her pork chop, finally pushing the plate in front of her signaling she was finished.

"Well, you ate more then I thought you would," said Snape.

"It's only because you're here staring at me that I ate it."

"Well, you're welcome."

"I didn't thank you."

"I know you didn't say it out loud, but somewhere in the back of your mind you're thanking me."

"Whatever," said Hermione.

She got up from the table and walked over to the armchair by the fireplace. Snape however, wasn't finished eating, so he stayed where he was. Hermione stared into the fire, and realized what she had to do next.

"Can I trust you professor?" she asked quietly.

Snape looked up from his plate and stared at her, "Of course you can trust me. Don't ever think you can't. Whatever you say here isn't going to leave this room. And I will defiantly not tell Potter or Weasley."

There was a long pause. Snape went back to eating his steak, thinking Hermione wasn't going to say anything else.

"I have depression, I think I'm too fat, and I think about killing myself all the time," said Hermione, barely louder then a whisper.

Snape's eyes shot up. He slowly got up and made his way over to the armchair opposite Hermione.

"Oh Hermione, I know how it feels…"

"No! No you don't! You have no idea how it feels!" screamed Hermione, breaking down into tears.

"Come here," said Snape as he got up and walked around the coffee table towards Hermione. She stood up and he embraced her, quieting her tears a bit. For ten minutes, they both stood there, embraced in each other, Hermione crying on Snape's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Professor," said Hermione as she released him.

"Don't be. You're hurting, and you needed a shoulder to cry on, literally."

"It's just so hard to talk about everything."

"I know, I know. And I'm very happy you finally decided to tell me that. How about we get started on a lesson to get your mind off everything? And we'll talk more tomorrow."

"Okay," said Hermione, brushing away her tears.

For the next hour, the two of them worked on a practical charms lesson. But both were trying so hard to forget what just happened, it was a waste of two hours. The night ended with Snape and Hermione, walking side by side towards the Hospital Wing.


End file.
